Thanksgiving is tomorrow, the focus is no longer on the blessings of God. Rather the focus has become on the day after that supposedly kicks off the Holiday shopping. What was once a traditional day has now become a day of shopping. We lose more of our Godly values, as we fail to be thankful for God's blessings.
As a nation we turn further away from God, godly values that this nation was founded upon.
I know personally for myself the journey of the last fifteen months has been arduous. Each step in that journey has been with God. From the moment I was fired God, began counseling and teaching me. Throughout my life I always thought that I had a better way then God. That I alone could solve any problem or issue in my life without God. That I miss believed that once I was saved, that life would be easier. God, never has promised that you would be without struggles or trails in my life. Throughout my life the struggles and trails were ones I had created. I only compounded the severity of them by trying to resolve them without God. For the first time in my life I gave God control of my life, during the storm of the last months. I guess with age one does become wiser. I think it is much than that, it is a maturity of my faith. When the storm was about to engulf me God, lifted me onto higher ground each time. God, has truly been so awesome these past months.
I praise God, for his blessings in my life. I praise him for a second chance with him. When I hit the lowest ebb in my life he was willing to forgive me. When Betty, entered my life God, entered my life also. The night I redicated my life to God was so life changing. I had spent years running, trying to hide from God. Listening to the lies of the greatest lair of them all. I was all alone in a very dark place in my life. God's light pierced that darkness, He forgave me. He wiped my slate clean. Like the good Shepard He is He, came for this lost sheep. I praise God, for Betty, her love for me. I praise God, for restoring me. I praise God, for my loving daughter Jennifer. I praise God, for the countless blessings he has bestowed upon me. I praise God, for a loving church family I have at Victory Temple. I praise God, for the friendships that I have built.I praise God, for Betty's sons families for being so loving and accepting of me. I praise God, for giving me the talent of cooking, using that to minsters to others monthly. I praise God, for the beauty of His maginfect creation. I praise God, for His love. I praise God, for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on. God's light shines through the darkest momnets of life.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Take time to refelct on God, and be thankful for your own blessings.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A Season of Change
It is funny how as you age, certain memories become more focused and clearer. You learn that some memories are misplaced in the attic of your mind. Yet other memories become redefined with a clearer truth.
As Thanksgiving approaches, I remember fondly the Thanksgivings of my childhood. The sweet smells whiffing from the kitchen. The distinct aroma of Turkey roasting. A fire ablaze in the fireplace giving the living room a glow and warming the house. My mother arose early that morning to began cooking the huge bird. we always had. Pies had been made the night before. Trying to sneak into the kitchen for a bite to eat, being chased off. Family members arriving signaled that dinner would soon be served. Feeling like royalty the feast was laid out across the dining room table. My Grandfather blessed the food. My Dad began to crave the turkey. Dishes passed around the table, so little talking as food was being eaten. Barely room for dessert, Pumpkin Pie was a must. A slice of Pumpkin Pie with a mound of whip cream. Then helping clean-up.
Those memories are sweetly cherished. Seems like a lifetime ago.
Now Thanksgiving has become step-child holiday, almost forgotten. In the rush to have Christmas, retailers to ring in large sales. Christmas, began after the Fourth of July, like a snowball rolling down hill it has become huge retail nightmare. Lost in this madness for shopping is Jesus, the reason we have Christmas. It has become holiday that has removed Jesus. Certain groups of people have taken it upon themselves to make sure Jesus is successfully removed. They find Jesus, offensive and violation of what? We have forgotten our founding fathers, principles of God, that founded this nation. The mere mention of Merry Christmas is frowned upon. The more politically correct term Happy Holidays has replaced it. Political correctness is leading this nation into damnation. I really do not care if people, clerks are offended by me saying Merry Christmas, I will proudly say it. The more we remove God from this nation, the deeper we go into hell as a nation.
Like changing seasons, I am entering a change, as Friday draws closer. Stand on my faith and trust God that he will provide the correct results. Still this appointment is daunting and scary. I have never been real fond of going to doctors. As I age I understand the purpose of doctors in my life. Going to an oncologist brings apprehension. The one doctor you do not want to see hopefully during your life is an oncologist. The mention of cancer, is a daunting diagnosis. Like all challenges in my life, I will meet this one head on. I am one not to let pain be the focus of my life, lately that is becoming more difficult.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Fall
The heat of the past summer, is now a passed. Fall unfolds slowly. the temperatures drop.
I enjoy Indian Summer, the cool of the night, the mildness of the day. Fall here in the "Natural State" is such pleasant experience. Knowing that the fall will slip into winter without a big hurrah. Unlike the winters of Illinois along the shores of Lake Michigan at times can be bitter. Snow that swirls with the wind as it blows from the north. The endless gray dreary days. The first snow is always beautiful, it quickly turns to a sloppy slush of gray. Each snow is followed by sub zero temperatures. When you are a kid snow is fun. Snowball fights, snow forts outside till you are wet and cold. As you become older you shovel walks earning some pocket money. As an adult snow shovel becomes drudgery and back breaking. Now I am in Arkansas, where winter is more Mother Natures' joke. They become excited about a few inches of snow, the temperature rarely goes below 20 degrees. It is great to go bird watching without the bone chilling cold. I do miss chumming Gulls on Lake Michigan, searching for an elusive Snowy Owls. Winter here are spent finding wintering Eagles, Loons, Geese.
This past Friday we decided to take a road trip to Oklahoma. We took our "Little Green Angel" on it's maiden outing. We went south along Route 71 in Arkansas, to Route 70 going west into Oklahoma, then north on Route 259 through Eastern Oklahoma. It is called the Winding Staircase. We stopped at Beaver Bend State Park. They have a lovely museum on forestry. There were numerous wood sculptures of animals and birds. We added three more birds to our year list pushing it up to 207. We tallied 565+ Turkey Vultures, 45+ Black Vultures, 5 Bald Eagles. The drive was very scenic, we saw how beautiful God's creation is. We tend to be so rushed in our lives, that we often overlook the beauty before us. Fo me personally I strive each day to take time and marvel at the beauty of God's creation.
The feeder is up for the winter, yesterday it was empty. I filled early in the morning, within seconds a bird text message went out that it was full. Within seconds there was a flurry of activity at the feeder. This morning the Collared Doves found their treat on the patio. It is rather comical to watch them. There was one that had not learned how to share. He was quite adamant about not letting anyone share in the buffet before him. He defended the buffet from any interlopers in getting a bite. He chased off three other relatives from partaking. He chased one into the wall of the apartment, no serious damage to either.
I am antsy about next week, I am not a very good at waiting. Add to that I am not terribly fond of going to the doctor either. I stand on my faith that God has this in his hands. I am sure the tests will probably be unpleasant. In the past thirteen months I have learned that God, handles problems, struggles far better than I do. I have learned that you need to get of the way and let God's faithfulness and mercy room to work. God, does not like his faithful ones to suffer unnecessarily. Believing God, does not give you a free pass in life.
When I first believed I thought that I would have problem free life, that the struggles would be easy. When that did not happen I become angry disillusioned at God. Always asking why. The first years that I believed I lost my Mother, a house, a car. I was angry at God for this blaming Him. I ran from God, instead of running into His arms in times of trouble. I thought it was churches, I church hopped, till I gave up. I guess six years ago after loosing a job of 25 years, a failed marriage I was in the deepest pit. Then I found a love like any I had known. She led me back to Christ, I redicated my life. I am wiser ( I think) now, I am maturing in my faith. I understand God at a deeper level. For the first time in my life I realized that my way, my control is not the best. That God, manages my life much better then I have ever. As I face this next mountain before me I have faith that God. will move it.
I enjoy Indian Summer, the cool of the night, the mildness of the day. Fall here in the "Natural State" is such pleasant experience. Knowing that the fall will slip into winter without a big hurrah. Unlike the winters of Illinois along the shores of Lake Michigan at times can be bitter. Snow that swirls with the wind as it blows from the north. The endless gray dreary days. The first snow is always beautiful, it quickly turns to a sloppy slush of gray. Each snow is followed by sub zero temperatures. When you are a kid snow is fun. Snowball fights, snow forts outside till you are wet and cold. As you become older you shovel walks earning some pocket money. As an adult snow shovel becomes drudgery and back breaking. Now I am in Arkansas, where winter is more Mother Natures' joke. They become excited about a few inches of snow, the temperature rarely goes below 20 degrees. It is great to go bird watching without the bone chilling cold. I do miss chumming Gulls on Lake Michigan, searching for an elusive Snowy Owls. Winter here are spent finding wintering Eagles, Loons, Geese.
The feeder is up for the winter, yesterday it was empty. I filled early in the morning, within seconds a bird text message went out that it was full. Within seconds there was a flurry of activity at the feeder. This morning the Collared Doves found their treat on the patio. It is rather comical to watch them. There was one that had not learned how to share. He was quite adamant about not letting anyone share in the buffet before him. He defended the buffet from any interlopers in getting a bite. He chased off three other relatives from partaking. He chased one into the wall of the apartment, no serious damage to either.
I am antsy about next week, I am not a very good at waiting. Add to that I am not terribly fond of going to the doctor either. I stand on my faith that God has this in his hands. I am sure the tests will probably be unpleasant. In the past thirteen months I have learned that God, handles problems, struggles far better than I do. I have learned that you need to get of the way and let God's faithfulness and mercy room to work. God, does not like his faithful ones to suffer unnecessarily. Believing God, does not give you a free pass in life.
When I first believed I thought that I would have problem free life, that the struggles would be easy. When that did not happen I become angry disillusioned at God. Always asking why. The first years that I believed I lost my Mother, a house, a car. I was angry at God for this blaming Him. I ran from God, instead of running into His arms in times of trouble. I thought it was churches, I church hopped, till I gave up. I guess six years ago after loosing a job of 25 years, a failed marriage I was in the deepest pit. Then I found a love like any I had known. She led me back to Christ, I redicated my life. I am wiser ( I think) now, I am maturing in my faith. I understand God at a deeper level. For the first time in my life I realized that my way, my control is not the best. That God, manages my life much better then I have ever. As I face this next mountain before me I have faith that God. will move it.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
For Today 4 November
Today is the 4th of November, I love fall days. Windows are open the morning air has just a bite to it. The afternoon sun warms the day comfortably. This fall in the "Natural State". The trees were decked out in their fall fashion colors of golds,reds, yellows. Quite striking against the blue sky. Only saw two Red Tail Hawks today. The seem to respect each others territories, evenly spaced boundaries.
Life is like snapshots, each snap shot a memory. I have adopted the "Natural State", as home. Days like this I miss being at the Hawk Watch, along the shores of Lake Michigan. I fondly remember the hours watching for hawks to crest over the horizon. Birding here has been as equally rewarding. I never tire of watching the American White Pelicans or the Eagles that winter here. Or the marvel of a Turkey Vulture scooting across the sky without a wing beat. Or the first time I saw a flock of Wood Storks. The long walk in the heat to be rewarded with a breathtaking view of them as they crossed the sky above me.
This past year has been a year of facing giants, I have shouted my God is bigger. It has been a year of personal reflection, taking a deep personal inventory. God has dealt with me in a very intimate way. I have God whisper to me in such powerful ways. After years of being a workaholic, striving for perfection in the job I did. I realize the great sacrifices that were made in trying to achieving that brass ring. The years of not spending Christmas at home, instead working. How my family suffered from the weird, long hours I put in each day. In the long run it really was not worth it at all. I was never appreciated for the extra effort. In the end of 35+ years there were no hurrahs, no glory. God, has shown me such a deep love, deep faithfulness. I think about the years that I spent angry at God. God, is so forgiving, all you have to do is ask for his forgiveness. That walks in the valley are indeed better with God, holding your hand. God, will always see through the valley. When you are the weariest you will carry you. As I walked in the valley, I have learned to wait upon God. That I could not become impatient, that I needed to learn the lesson from God.
The one doctor that a person does not want an appointment with is the Oncologist. Even the mention of discussing the big "c" word is dreaded. As I faced the mountains in this past year, I stand on faith. Faith that God, is the greater healer. That God still performs miracles even today. That the tests that are forthcoming will be negative. I stand in faith with God, that he already has already handled this. Praise God.
Life is like snapshots, each snap shot a memory. I have adopted the "Natural State", as home. Days like this I miss being at the Hawk Watch, along the shores of Lake Michigan. I fondly remember the hours watching for hawks to crest over the horizon. Birding here has been as equally rewarding. I never tire of watching the American White Pelicans or the Eagles that winter here. Or the marvel of a Turkey Vulture scooting across the sky without a wing beat. Or the first time I saw a flock of Wood Storks. The long walk in the heat to be rewarded with a breathtaking view of them as they crossed the sky above me.
This past year has been a year of facing giants, I have shouted my God is bigger. It has been a year of personal reflection, taking a deep personal inventory. God has dealt with me in a very intimate way. I have God whisper to me in such powerful ways. After years of being a workaholic, striving for perfection in the job I did. I realize the great sacrifices that were made in trying to achieving that brass ring. The years of not spending Christmas at home, instead working. How my family suffered from the weird, long hours I put in each day. In the long run it really was not worth it at all. I was never appreciated for the extra effort. In the end of 35+ years there were no hurrahs, no glory. God, has shown me such a deep love, deep faithfulness. I think about the years that I spent angry at God. God, is so forgiving, all you have to do is ask for his forgiveness. That walks in the valley are indeed better with God, holding your hand. God, will always see through the valley. When you are the weariest you will carry you. As I walked in the valley, I have learned to wait upon God. That I could not become impatient, that I needed to learn the lesson from God.
The one doctor that a person does not want an appointment with is the Oncologist. Even the mention of discussing the big "c" word is dreaded. As I faced the mountains in this past year, I stand on faith. Faith that God, is the greater healer. That God still performs miracles even today. That the tests that are forthcoming will be negative. I stand in faith with God, that he already has already handled this. Praise God.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday
Today Friday 30 October,a brisk fall start to the day. Temperatures dipped down to the mid 30's last night. Our resident House Sparrow has found the bird-feeder to be a great shelter from the wind. We also have a Junco that adopts a spot too. I am wondering if it was the seem Junco that visited last year.
Today was a quiet day, nothing too pressing. Spent the morning for Betty's therapy. We then mad a quick dash to the Post Office.
We had decided to head north to Lake Fort Smith State Park. To view the colors on the Boston Mountains. The colors were awesome.
We also watched the Turkey Vultures dance across the sky, as they darted in and out of the thermals. Red Tails are being seen more regularly along the interstate. We tallied five Red Tails perched on their sentry posts.
I heard a very disturbing news report on the they home. A Michigan Abortion Clinic, was disposing aborted babies in the dumpster. Treating them as yesterday's trash. Has this nation become that barbaric that babies are just thrown out. As a nation we need to repent to God, for our sins.
As Tuesday election approaches, it could prove to be the most historic mid-term election in this Nation's history. I am a recovering liberal. President Obama was elected on the premise of great hope. He dashed that hope like a ship smashing into the rocks. His programs have rung up debt that will extend into four generations and possibly beyond. He has proven to be the most socialist president this nation has ever had. I once stood by the Democrat Party, always believing that represented the blue collar voter. Now as my values have changed, my political values have also changed. For the first time since I began voting, I will be voting for republicans. My vote will not be out of anger, my vote will be based upon more on my conservative values. This nation has strayed so far to left, has abandoned the Godly Principles that this nation was founded upon. Our nation has turned away from God. Immorality of this nation is sickening. When the news is flooded by celebrities, infidelity, drunk rampages, drug use etc.Carry these stories on and on.Sexual immorality that has become the rage. We need radical change in our leadership. While I personally hold little hope for that change Tuesday. I hope it will begin up righting the ship.
Today was a good day. Each day I manage the pain that is ever present. Some days it is just a nagging, other days it gives me fits. I try each day to try not let it dominate, some days I am the victor and other days it is the victors. I do my best to not complain about it, keeping it silent. In the past thirteen months I have grown spiritually, a little wiser. When I was fired at that moment I made a choice. A choice that I had never made before in my life. I choose to trust God, to handle my life.
It is amazing how when you get out of the way, let God, work.
That is today's post. Hindsight is not 20/20 vision. Pray for this nation.
Today was a quiet day, nothing too pressing. Spent the morning for Betty's therapy. We then mad a quick dash to the Post Office.
We also watched the Turkey Vultures dance across the sky, as they darted in and out of the thermals. Red Tails are being seen more regularly along the interstate. We tallied five Red Tails perched on their sentry posts.
I heard a very disturbing news report on the they home. A Michigan Abortion Clinic, was disposing aborted babies in the dumpster. Treating them as yesterday's trash. Has this nation become that barbaric that babies are just thrown out. As a nation we need to repent to God, for our sins.
As Tuesday election approaches, it could prove to be the most historic mid-term election in this Nation's history. I am a recovering liberal. President Obama was elected on the premise of great hope. He dashed that hope like a ship smashing into the rocks. His programs have rung up debt that will extend into four generations and possibly beyond. He has proven to be the most socialist president this nation has ever had. I once stood by the Democrat Party, always believing that represented the blue collar voter. Now as my values have changed, my political values have also changed. For the first time since I began voting, I will be voting for republicans. My vote will not be out of anger, my vote will be based upon more on my conservative values. This nation has strayed so far to left, has abandoned the Godly Principles that this nation was founded upon. Our nation has turned away from God. Immorality of this nation is sickening. When the news is flooded by celebrities, infidelity, drunk rampages, drug use etc.Carry these stories on and on.Sexual immorality that has become the rage. We need radical change in our leadership. While I personally hold little hope for that change Tuesday. I hope it will begin up righting the ship.
Today was a good day. Each day I manage the pain that is ever present. Some days it is just a nagging, other days it gives me fits. I try each day to try not let it dominate, some days I am the victor and other days it is the victors. I do my best to not complain about it, keeping it silent. In the past thirteen months I have grown spiritually, a little wiser. When I was fired at that moment I made a choice. A choice that I had never made before in my life. I choose to trust God, to handle my life.
It is amazing how when you get out of the way, let God, work.
That is today's post. Hindsight is not 20/20 vision. Pray for this nation.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday 28 October
The apartment windows were wide open during the night. Awoke to the chill of a brisk fall morning. Summer has moved on and fall is settling in. The sky was endless blue, with streaky white clouds. Today is a quiet day, no doctors appointments or excessive errands to run.
We are finally getting caught up from our week in Texas. Our trip was great, our visit with family was wonderful. We did it the old fashion way. We took the bus. Amazing how people are still using the bus for travel. I remember riding the bus in 70's, how it stopped in each rural town in Wisconsin. Probable cost efficient to stop that often, travelers are fewer.
Texas, landscape is punctuated with oil wells. Pumping liquid gold, to feed our thirst for oil. There were in the parks, in backyards etc. Eastern Texas, the pines reached skyward, their needles littering the sandy soil beneath. Texas, is the holy grail for birding. Our exploring for birds was limited to their patio, city parks. Remarkably we were able to add three life birds. A return trip is indeed in order, to explore more of Texas.
These past thirteen months we have been in the valley. During these months my personal faith has grown deeper. The bitter anger that I carried for too many years, has been replaced with peace. That journey to find that peace, has been a long trek. I came to know the Lord, in the early 80's, the date escape me. I thought that once you believed something magical would happen. That your struggles in life would end. That never took place, I lacked the understanding of why it was not not possible. Those early years the struggles were there. The one thing I never did was to get out of the way, let God handle it. I always wanted to be in control, that my way was always best.
When things became the bleakest I blamed God, for it all. I turned my anger against God. My distance between God and myself became greater. I thought it was the Churches I was attending, we moved to different ones. Nothing became better. My anger, my resentment towards God, became so bitter. That I simply gave up on God, I let the enemy win. Without God in my life, my life spun out of control. Finally after being downsized out of of job of 25 years.
I threw in the towel, I claimed defeat. I left my marriage, my life of over 50 years to start over.
I put the Chicago skyline in my rear view mirror and headed south to the unknown.My destination was Fort Smith Arkansas. Not knowing what lay ed ahead. With no job prospects. I was bitter, I was angry. I found a job, five years later I realized that was mistake. In "05" a very special woman came into my life. As our relationship began to blossom, love unfolded. We began discussing our future together. Her faith was so very deep, her relationship with God, was so deep also. She told me that a man in her life would put God, first in his life. As she gave me her testimony about God, had worked in her life. I felt something in my heart, God was searching for me. On a rainy night
in April, I gave my life back to God. As we both cried so very hard, a peace came over in a way I never felt. As our relationship grew, our love grew deeper. We both had God in our lives. The journey was just beginning. We married in January "06"
Through her example, of how God, worked in her life. I began to understand what a joy it was to have God, in your life. I never once thought I could be forgiven by God. After the Devil, deserted left me all alone and stripped. The moment I asked God, back into my life. He came and seek ed me out, He, returned me to the flock. I was a lost lamb, a sinner, God, showed his love and mercy. As we settled in our new life together, we found a church. My faith and love for God, was growing. The church was like family from the first moment. It was unlike any church I had ever been in. I felt the spirit of God, move in me so powerfully. We became involved in the Community Rescue ministry, feeding the homeless each month.
September "09" I was fired from the worse job I had ever had. That summer I worked to the point of psychical exhaustion, mental exhaustion. The firing was personal. As I sat there listened to the lies, the false attempt to be friendly. My anger, temper were boiling. God, quelled the storm in me, whispering "You answer to a higher authority". I just sat there with peace.
The months that would unfold would be struggle. I was quickly denied unemployment. We had very little income coming in. God, was faithful to us and provided for us. There were no job interviews, from all the job applications. I had also applied for SS disability during this time. For the first time in my life I gave the control to God. I asked God for his help, I got out of his way to do his will. Yes, the months grew scarier with no job prospects. Little did we know that God was working on a solution. In January of this year we heard about my SS Disability, it had been approved. My first check arrived in April. My career was over the years of hard work were done. Our struggles were far from over.
We sold the newer car because we could not afford to repair it. We relyed on an older car for transportion. During these struggles and trials, my faith never wavered. My trust in God, only deepen, my understanding of God's love in my life grew. I began to seek and to learn more about God, His word. The older car decided to retire. We were faced with no vehicle or the the fiances to purchase one. We prayered to God, we believed that God, had the answer.
Friends loaned us a vehicle. We went to Texas, temporially put our problems on hold. Little did we know that our friends working on getting us a car.
We arrived back in Fort Smith, it was late, pouring rain. We got off the bus were greeted by our friends. They exclaimed we have a surpise for you both.
As they pointed to a green car. Our first words were when does it have to be returned. They said never it yours. Our little green car is the car God gave us.
God, is awesome.
In this past year I have experienced a faith that I never knew possible. I have thrist to learn about God. I am at peace with myself. Bitterness has been erased. I have slowly emerged from my shell. I know that when my back is to the wall, God will tear that wall done find a new direction.
We are finally getting caught up from our week in Texas. Our trip was great, our visit with family was wonderful. We did it the old fashion way. We took the bus. Amazing how people are still using the bus for travel. I remember riding the bus in 70's, how it stopped in each rural town in Wisconsin. Probable cost efficient to stop that often, travelers are fewer.
Texas, landscape is punctuated with oil wells. Pumping liquid gold, to feed our thirst for oil. There were in the parks, in backyards etc. Eastern Texas, the pines reached skyward, their needles littering the sandy soil beneath. Texas, is the holy grail for birding. Our exploring for birds was limited to their patio, city parks. Remarkably we were able to add three life birds. A return trip is indeed in order, to explore more of Texas.
These past thirteen months we have been in the valley. During these months my personal faith has grown deeper. The bitter anger that I carried for too many years, has been replaced with peace. That journey to find that peace, has been a long trek. I came to know the Lord, in the early 80's, the date escape me. I thought that once you believed something magical would happen. That your struggles in life would end. That never took place, I lacked the understanding of why it was not not possible. Those early years the struggles were there. The one thing I never did was to get out of the way, let God handle it. I always wanted to be in control, that my way was always best.
When things became the bleakest I blamed God, for it all. I turned my anger against God. My distance between God and myself became greater. I thought it was the Churches I was attending, we moved to different ones. Nothing became better. My anger, my resentment towards God, became so bitter. That I simply gave up on God, I let the enemy win. Without God in my life, my life spun out of control. Finally after being downsized out of of job of 25 years.
I threw in the towel, I claimed defeat. I left my marriage, my life of over 50 years to start over.
I put the Chicago skyline in my rear view mirror and headed south to the unknown.My destination was Fort Smith Arkansas. Not knowing what lay ed ahead. With no job prospects. I was bitter, I was angry. I found a job, five years later I realized that was mistake. In "05" a very special woman came into my life. As our relationship began to blossom, love unfolded. We began discussing our future together. Her faith was so very deep, her relationship with God, was so deep also. She told me that a man in her life would put God, first in his life. As she gave me her testimony about God, had worked in her life. I felt something in my heart, God was searching for me. On a rainy night
in April, I gave my life back to God. As we both cried so very hard, a peace came over in a way I never felt. As our relationship grew, our love grew deeper. We both had God in our lives. The journey was just beginning. We married in January "06"
Through her example, of how God, worked in her life. I began to understand what a joy it was to have God, in your life. I never once thought I could be forgiven by God. After the Devil, deserted left me all alone and stripped. The moment I asked God, back into my life. He came and seek ed me out, He, returned me to the flock. I was a lost lamb, a sinner, God, showed his love and mercy. As we settled in our new life together, we found a church. My faith and love for God, was growing. The church was like family from the first moment. It was unlike any church I had ever been in. I felt the spirit of God, move in me so powerfully. We became involved in the Community Rescue ministry, feeding the homeless each month.
September "09" I was fired from the worse job I had ever had. That summer I worked to the point of psychical exhaustion, mental exhaustion. The firing was personal. As I sat there listened to the lies, the false attempt to be friendly. My anger, temper were boiling. God, quelled the storm in me, whispering "You answer to a higher authority". I just sat there with peace.
The months that would unfold would be struggle. I was quickly denied unemployment. We had very little income coming in. God, was faithful to us and provided for us. There were no job interviews, from all the job applications. I had also applied for SS disability during this time. For the first time in my life I gave the control to God. I asked God for his help, I got out of his way to do his will. Yes, the months grew scarier with no job prospects. Little did we know that God was working on a solution. In January of this year we heard about my SS Disability, it had been approved. My first check arrived in April. My career was over the years of hard work were done. Our struggles were far from over.
We sold the newer car because we could not afford to repair it. We relyed on an older car for transportion. During these struggles and trials, my faith never wavered. My trust in God, only deepen, my understanding of God's love in my life grew. I began to seek and to learn more about God, His word. The older car decided to retire. We were faced with no vehicle or the the fiances to purchase one. We prayered to God, we believed that God, had the answer.
Friends loaned us a vehicle. We went to Texas, temporially put our problems on hold. Little did we know that our friends working on getting us a car.
We arrived back in Fort Smith, it was late, pouring rain. We got off the bus were greeted by our friends. They exclaimed we have a surpise for you both.
As they pointed to a green car. Our first words were when does it have to be returned. They said never it yours. Our little green car is the car God gave us.
God, is awesome.
In this past year I have experienced a faith that I never knew possible. I have thrist to learn about God. I am at peace with myself. Bitterness has been erased. I have slowly emerged from my shell. I know that when my back is to the wall, God will tear that wall done find a new direction.
Monday, October 25, 2010
October
October, a month of change. Summer finally yields to fall. The leaves begin to change their drab colors of green, to vibrant red, yellows, copper. Birds are on the move as they seek warmer climates. Fort Smith seems to be the vacation destination for Starlings. For the most part Starlings are classified as a nuisance. It is interesting to watch them as a flock form a ball. In that ball they dance is perfect sync, from tree to tree. I will never tire watching even the most commonest birds.
A long overdue to trip to visit Betty's son and family in Texas. We did it the old fashion way, via bus. It is hard to imagine that at time many Americans traveled from town to town on the bus. I remember my bus trip on the back roads of Wisconsin in the 70's.The trip was good. The week was very relaxing. We were able to put on hold our struggles for a week. It also put our struggles into perspective. As I observed my adopted grandson deal with life everyday. He never lets his disability affect his upbeat mood. The love that his parents and sister give him was awesome to observe. Each day his day is a challegne, he meets that above and beyond. His parents show such devotion to this little man. Caretakers that are part of his daily life show such compassion.
Texas, is dotted with oil pumps pumping the lifeline of this nation. They are present in their parks, in yards. You witness how oil has made a community rich. Pines reach into the sky like gaints. The soil a sandy mix of sand and red clay. While this was my first offical visit to Texas, the holy grail of birding. I was able to add three birds to my life lists from mainly in their backyard. A defnite return is needed to explore deeper.
A long overdue to trip to visit Betty's son and family in Texas. We did it the old fashion way, via bus. It is hard to imagine that at time many Americans traveled from town to town on the bus. I remember my bus trip on the back roads of Wisconsin in the 70's.The trip was good. The week was very relaxing. We were able to put on hold our struggles for a week. It also put our struggles into perspective. As I observed my adopted grandson deal with life everyday. He never lets his disability affect his upbeat mood. The love that his parents and sister give him was awesome to observe. Each day his day is a challegne, he meets that above and beyond. His parents show such devotion to this little man. Caretakers that are part of his daily life show such compassion.
Texas, is dotted with oil pumps pumping the lifeline of this nation. They are present in their parks, in yards. You witness how oil has made a community rich. Pines reach into the sky like gaints. The soil a sandy mix of sand and red clay. While this was my first offical visit to Texas, the holy grail of birding. I was able to add three birds to my life lists from mainly in their backyard. A defnite return is needed to explore deeper.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)